There will be times when life doesn’t go the way we want it to, times when we experience pain that no amount of spiritual insight or awareness can remedy. Things happen that we don’t understand and these are our opportunities to grow closer to the God within. A genuine faith can grow out of this fertile ground. In times like these, we can trust Him with our lives though our hearts and minds utter all kinds of blasphemies.
In these times, we can begin to move away from looking at the Creator as a sort of Cosmic Santa Claus. We are no longer children. We can run from reality for only so long before the pain of hiding breaks us wide open. Hence, we pray.
But prayer abducted and hijacked by childish self-obsession is not prayer. These kinds of petitions end up in disillusionment, disappointment and ultimately insanity. True prayer expresses gratitude and aspires to the Will of God. The arrangement of circumstances and financial challenges only matter insomuch as this. Otherwise, they are just money and circumstances regardless of our urgent needs or preferences about them.
This universe supports purpose and principle over wishing, and self-importance. In God’s Eyes, our accomplishments and failures are meaningless except about how well we have loved and given of ourselves. In heaven, success or failure is measured by our aptitude and acumen for love.
Therefore, I have ceased now to pray for and strive after things in the outer world. I ask and beg even, that God prosper me inwardly and situate me inwardly first. For without a proper inner life my life on the outside is worse than destitute and impoverished. It is dead and I am leaning to live.
I am learning to pray for and strive after peace and acceptance, that under any circumstance I can be okay. I am learning to pray for willingness and purpose that I may take my place here and have my life be used for something greater than me.
I pray for compassion and forgiveness that the love of God may flow through me unobstructed so that when I die and stand in the Light I can be certain that my work here was done.