Ferlando Batts

Consent to Live

drawn_wallpapers___vector_wallpapers_black_and_white_plan_042305_There will be times when life doesn’t go the way we want it to, times when we experience pain that no amount of spiritual insight or awareness can remedy.  Things happen that we don’t understand and these are our opportunities to grow closer to the God within. A genuine faith can grow out of this fertile ground.  In times like these, we can trust Him with our lives though our hearts and minds utter all kinds of blasphemies.

In these times, we can begin to move away from looking at the Creator as a sort of Cosmic Santa Claus. We are no longer children.  We can run from reality for only so long before the pain of hiding breaks us wide open. Hence, we pray.

But prayer abducted and hijacked by childish self-obsession is not prayer.  These kinds of petitions end up in disillusionment, disappointment and ultimately insanity.  True prayer expresses gratitude and aspires to the Will of God. The arrangement of circumstances and financial challenges only matter insomuch as this.  Otherwise, they are just money and circumstances regardless of our urgent needs or preferences about them.

This universe supports purpose and principle over wishing, and self-importance.  In God’s Eyes, our accomplishments and failures are meaningless except about how well we have loved and given of ourselves.  In heaven, success or failure is measured by our aptitude and acumen for love.

Therefore, I have ceased now to pray for and strive after things in the outer world.  I ask and beg even, that God prosper me inwardly and situate me inwardly first.  For without a proper inner life my life on the outside is worse than destitute and impoverished.  It is dead and I am leaning to live.

I am learning to pray for and strive after peace and acceptance, that under any circumstance I can be okay.  I am learning to pray for willingness and purpose that I may take my place here and have my life be used for something greater than me.

I pray for compassion and forgiveness that the love of God may flow through me unobstructed so that when I die and stand in the Light I can be certain that my work here was done.

 


Surrender

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Your weapons here are of no avail as there is nothing for which to fight and nothing to defend.

Your nakedness here is welcome and without shame as there is nothing you need to hide.

Hold your peace here as there is nothing and no need to argue.

Open your heart as there is nothing and no one here to harm you.


The Two

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As two embrace in sweet copulation they are no more what they once were. But as the two are entwined in one another they become something altogether new. They are a foreshadow of what is to come of their joining— a child who will grow and embrace just as the two who conceived him and through the night catch sudden glimpses of his own precondition. He will join with the Lovers who rock and moan across all of time in the Great Procession of Love.


Ecstatic Divine

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“It wasn’t supposed to go like this”.

Your body and your smile, they drew me in compelling me to invite you.

The way you kissed me and that moan….I was determined to entice you.

It’s surprising to find that experiencing you provided more than a simple thrill.

Can’t say when, but it did begin to change and for some reason

I wanted to hear you sing and listen to your dreams and share my heart with you.

You became a friend and then my kin and as we slept love came in.

We tried being cool but it was fermenting, getting stronger, reaching longer and wouldn’t be subjected to common sense.

Sense started being less common giving way to our leafy green astonishment.

“I didn’t know I could feel this way”, I’d say.

Knowing that Its crazy but, we know we want it anyway.

Thought so many times to stop but it seems a sin for us to kill what brings so much genuine pleasure.

Many precious thank you’s rise from our hearts brimming with grace caressing the air in the room.

Moments now are so beautiful, so majestic, so ecstatic, and so divine…

“I see my life in your eyes”, you said..

I love laughing with you about absurd baby names conversations and

I love the way we are calling each other baby, often.

Our little secret is breaking through our goo-goo eyes into the world as Our Truth and a place to stand.

We’ve ceased from hiding the shimmering hope of our barely possible possibility.

It’s so simple though,

I’m with you.

You’ve got my heart and

I’ll love you forever.


Meditation and Addiction

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There is, I suspect, a certain wealth to which we, as those addicted, have as heirs.  Not in any special sense but by virtue of that unique malady and the craving that arises therefrom.  It is the grace and compassion of the Divine that finds me and introduces me to myself saying, “out of such abundance, as I am, have I formed you, giving you an abundance out of which you may discover the true value of your pain”.

Recovery roots and grounds me firmly in the fundamental principles of change.  These principles address addiction, its narrative, its impact on character and the raging self obsession at its core.  Truly, it encompasses more than I even know.  Practicing meditation, though, provides a personal spiritual environment and an extended method for ego deprecation. It provides a fresh perspective.

The Practice of meditation is itself an act of faith.  To sit with one’s breath, leaving the small mind and its fear without all its discursive assurances, lip service and philosophy.  It becomes, by experience, an intimate acquaintance and knowledge of Self.  Using meditation in recovery encourages me to embrace uncomfortable experiences; physical, mental and emotional.

I am able, now, to be responsible for the pain.  I am able now to experience myself as whole and complete with the good , the bad and the in-between because It all lives right here.


Birthright

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We are born for the extraordinary. We are each a reservoir and vehicle of Universal Power. To every human being is given, as a birthright, the incredible gift of the supernatural. Not only are we given this share of divinity, it is, in essence, who we are. Each of us exists, so quietly, and almost imperceptibly as Pure Possibility


Young and Wild

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Young and wild, a girl in a woman’s body. Trying to prove something or soothe something or smooth over the empty place where that something she lost used to live.

Young and wild. Fools rush in, I won’t do it again. I had to be trying prove something. Surely, I was trying to soothe something. Now I’m trying to pretend like there’s no hole in the place in me where she used to live.

Young and Wild. I crushed the Mrs. when I said, “I’m no longer in love”. After convincing myself that Young was real when all the while young and wild was all she was…a chocolate train to nowhere.

Young and Wild It’s so sad, from what I had to this…using each other for empty moments of artificial bliss trying to cover some wound or to clean some room in a house that’s dilapidated.

Young and Wild A parade of misdirection Looking for connection but got a major life lesson instead. having made a wrong turn just to learn that left is not the way to go when you already know what love is.

 

 


Day Flower

imageYou are my Day-Flower, the assurance of a sun in heaven. The prescient mingling of your petal with my ray make my heart sing an old ancient melody.

Day-Flower rising…

Rising up into the sky of my heart shining with the summons of Life in your hands. Reaching, reaching toward the riches of your own blossoming in and through my soul.

I am merely another space that you fill as nothing can contain you. Your beautiful far reaching rays join one particle to the next and embrace everything!

You kiss my lips and the enchantments of Eden are the taste and love is the breath you breathe into me. You, you are the Flower of the Unending Day always unfolding.


Herein is My Beloved

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Herein is my Beloved. Faithful is Her Name, Faithful, calling me, Eternally.  Unchanging Love is Her Name. And I am Known by her alone,  Everywhere.

Meek and Steady, She Stands Like a Great Rock That never Sleeps  nor faints from fatigue. Nor withers With the passing of the ages.

In Her my soul Is a priceless acquisition and willingly as a bondman I am sold.

Unequivocally and without condition, my being entirely, finds in her its sure and perfect repose.

Through all the noise of the streets and the banter of violent creatures she never loses me and never is she lost.

Though years,  even eons may pass without my proper notice, she never loses me.  But I, I find myself in her only.

So Secure is she that she cannot be dishonored by the body’s debauchery.  She loses nothing.  But in her perfect compassion she conspires my gain.

Fairer is she than all the objects of my mortal idolatry.

Fairer is she than the obsessions of my loins.

Purer is she than Mary and ten thousand virgins

More enduring is she than the sun  as she is its perfect freedom and as such she is perfectly free.

Herein is my Beloved.  Her Name is Faithful.  Faithful, calling me eternally.  Unchanging Love is Her Name and I am known by Her alone….

E v  e   r   y   w  h  e  r  e.

 


Clay

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Lovely Innuendo

Written into space and time

Soothing the souls  of seers.

Compelling Mystery

Casting your Self into molds of clay

celebrating every day

your own arrival.